Scotch Eggs

This recipe can be doubled or tripled, if needed.

Ingredients:

5 hard boiled eggs, cooled and peeled
1 lb loose breakfast sausage
1 cup bread crumbs

Preheat oven 400 degrees

Straightforward Preparations:

1. Make 5 patties out of the sausage.
2. In the center of each patty, place a hard boiled egg. Enrobe/wrap the sausage around the egg, forming a big meatball.
3. Roll in bread crumbs.
4. Bake (if you have a rack or raised broiler pan use it so the rendered fat can run off) for roughly 40 minutes.

Traditionally these are served COLD. Personally I'd prefer to serve them hot, and sliced over buttered toast or buttered, toasted soda bread, with plenty of salt and pepper.

HAGGIS -- The beloved National Dish of Scotland

Haggis is one of those national dishes that is both beloved and reviled by natives, and sometimes horrifies people who hear it described for the first time. It even horrifies some native Scots -- it goes best with vats of Scotch (preferably single-malt).

Haggis is not unlike a Scottish version of scrapple or boudin, with oats instead of cornmeal or rice, or perhaps more like a Cajun dish called paunce, which is stuffed pork stomach.

You might have a hard time finding a haggis here in the States (it's difficult to get them imported too; I understand that the USDA has declared them "unfit for human consumption."). There are butchers in NJ who make them, and you can order tinned haggis on-line. If you're motivated, now you can make haggis yourself!

WARNING: The smell of cooking haggis can be gawd-awful.

You will need:

• 1 sheep's lung (illegal in the U.S.; may be omitted if not available)
• 1 sheep's stomach
• 1 sheep heart
• 1 sheep liver
• 1/2 lb fresh suet (kidney leaf fat is preferred)
• 3/4 cup oatmeal (the ground type, NOT the Quaker Oats type!)
• 3 onions, finely chopped
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon cayenne
• 1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
• 3/4 cup beef or mutton stock

To prepare:

Wash lungs and stomach well, rub with salt and rinse. Remove membranes and excess fat. Soak in cold salted water for several hours (usually overnight). Turn stomach inside out for stuffing.

Cover heart and liver with cold water.

Bring to a boil, reduce heat, cover and simmer for 30 minutes.
Chop heart and coarsely grate liver.
Toast oatmeal in a skillet on top of the stove, stirring frequently, until golden.
Combine all ingredients and mix well.
Loosely pack mixture into stomach, about two-thirds full.

** Remember, oatmeal expands in cooking. Do you want to clean exploded haggis off of everything in your kitchen?

Press any air out of stomach and truss securely.
Put into boiling water to cover.
Simmer for 3 hours, uncovered, adding more water as needed to maintain water level.
Prick stomach several times with a sharp needle when it begins to swell; this keeps the bag from bursting.
Place on a hot platter, removing trussing strings.

Serve with a spoon.

It's traditional that haggis be served with "neeps, tatties and nips" -- mashed turnips, mashed potatoes, nips of whiskey.

Cranberry-Orange Scones

Shit you'll need:

4 C. flour
4 t. baking powder
3/4 C. sugar
1 t. salt
Grated orange peel from 1 orange (fresh is good, but you can use dried)
1 C. butter, room temperature, cut into small (tbsp-sized) pieces
2 large eggs
1/3 C. frozen orange juice
1/3 C. milk
1/2-3/4C. fresh or frozen cranberries

To prepare:

Combine dry ingredients plus grated orange peel.
Cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs.

In small bowl, whisk eggs, orange juice and milk. (Save a couple of tablespoons to brush tops of scones before baking.)
Stir into flour mixture, combining until dough is moist.
(If it is too sticky to handle, add a bit more flour.)
Mix in the cranberries.

Turn dough onto floured work surface.
Knead a few turns.
Divide dough into two balls; pat each into a circle.
Cut 6 scones (wedges) from each.
Brush with reserved egg mixture.

Put on greased cookie sheets and bake at 375 degrees for 20 to 25 minutes. Keep checking until they are golden brown.

These are best served with real butter (cholesterol be damned!). If you have any clotted cream or raspberry/strawberry jam (the GOOD stuff), so much the better.

Oh, and a good, strong cup of Darjeeling tea (sugar and cream included) always goes well, too.

Shepherd's Pie (or Cottage Pie, if you prefer)

It's a cold, rainy, crappy day. Time for comfort food -- and my Granny Stewart used to make the most ass-kicking Shepherd's Pie. I decided to try my hand.

You will need:
1oz butter
12oz minced beef or lamb (I use a mixture of both -- the lamb adds flavor)
1 large carrot, peeled and diced
1 large onion peeled and finely chopped
1 tsp tomato paste
1 garlic clove peeled and minced
1/2 tsp plain flour
12 floz beef stock
dash of Worcestershire sauce
1 tbsp chopped fresh parsley
1 bay leaf
1/2 tsp chopped fresh thyme
20oz peeled potatoes (type suitable for mashing)
4 floz cream or full fat milk
3oz butter
pinch of ground nutmeg

Now, on to the cooking of the beast!

Directions:

1. Heat the butter in a sauce pan, add the chopped carrot and onions. Cook until the onion goes translucent.

2. Add the minced beef/lam mix, and cook until lighty browned, stir as it cooks to make sure the meat doesn't form lumps. (I HATE lumpy meat.)

3. Add the tomato paste, garlic and flour, stir well. Add the stock and bring to the boil to thicken the sauce. Allow to simmer slowly for 40 minutes (add more water if the sauce gets to thick), stir so it does not stick and burn. You can cover and cook it in the oven at 150c. Pour the cooked meat into a pie/casserole dish. I use a HUGE old cast-iron dutch-oven pot. Just be sure that you leave at least 2" for the potato topping.

4. Boil the potatoes in salted water. When cooked drain and mash togetter with the butter, milk and nutmeg. Allow to cool slightly before putting it on top of the meat mix. I usually just spread it messily around; if you're high-falutin', you can put the potatoes into a piping bag with a large plain nozzle. Then, pipe over the cooled meat mixture in neat rows. (Or write something obscene, like "Our Meat Can't Be Beat!")

5. Place the pot into a preheated oven (350f)and cook for 20 minutes or until the top is browned.

Make sure the centre of the dish is hot before serving.

Mmm. Scots Comfort Food

Forfar Bridies

Ingredients

Shortcrust pastry:

4 cups flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 pound salted butter (2 sticks), cut into small pieces (although you can use Crisco, if you're a heathen)
Cold water

Filling:

1 pound ground beef (or finely minced stew beef)
1 small onion, peeled, ends removed, chopped
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1/4 cup water
Nonstick cooking spray or 1/2 teaspoon shortening
1 beaten egg
(I've been known to add some garlic, although it's not strictly called for in the recipe)

To prepare pastry: In a large mixing bowl, sift together the flour and salt. Add the butter and cut into flour until the mixture resembles fine bread crumbs. Mix in enough cold water to hold mixture together. Form into a ball. Wrap in wax paper or plastic wrap and place in the refrigerator for 30-45 minutes.

To prepare the filling: In a large bowl, mix together the uncooked ground beef, onion, salt, pepper and water. Set aside.

Assembly: Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Spray a baking sheet with nonstick cooking spray or grease with shortening.

Remove pastry from refrigerator. Lightly sprinkle work surface with flour. Roll out pastry to about 1/8-inch thickness. Cut into 6-7 circles approximately 5 to 6 inches in diameter. Evenly divide the filling among the 6 circles, placing the meat mixture on one half of the circle. Brush the edge lightly with the beaten egg. Fold the pastry over the filling and seal by lightly crimping the edge. Brush the top with beaten egg. Repeat with remaining filling and dough circles.

Place on prepared baking sheet and bake for 50 minutes or until golden brown on top.

Makes 7 Forfar Bridies.