Friday, December 22, 2006

Maven's EFFing Lazyman Nog

Prep time: 5 Minutes? If that? You want something more specific? I have a brown eye that requires kissing. Yeah, like the Blarney Stone, only it's in my pants.

Serves: EFF if I know! Let's see 16 oz of icecream + 8 oz milk = 24 oz (not including the booze, which I don't have EFFing time nor patience to measure out in ounces for you) So just going on the BULK of the ingredients, and if you don't have some glutton drinking from your EFFing punchbowl with a straw, you probably could get about four six ounce servings or six four ounce servings out of this batch. More or less, depending on the quantity of booze you put in. The quantities I listed are merely a suggestion, not a hard and fast Nog Rule. And it's EFFing Lazyman Nog, and I've put entirely too much EFFing effort into this "serves" section." Shit I might just give up now and forget about the recipe... or not...


1 pint partially melted vanilla icecream (Breyers is best) (more frozen than melted, but definitely not frozen rock hard) or if available, rum raisin
1/2 pint whole milk
1 or 2 Shots Grand Marnier or Cointreau (more or less, depending on your penchant for this)
4 Shots rum or southern comfort (More or less, depending on how Effing snockered you wanna get)

The Indelicate Procedures:
  1. Dump everything into a blender.
  2. Manhandle your dairy shit. Whip it into oblivion, like a frappe. If you don't know what the EFF a frappe is, I guess you're EFFed, eh? Just blend it until the lumps are gone, or the raisins disappear. Or whatever. Hey, it's your nog. If you want the lumps and to chew the raisins, so be it. This is more of a suggestion more than a demand. Where was I? Oh yes... onto procedure #3. The CRUCIAL procedure. Are you reading? What the EFF am I doing here?
  3. Taste. If you think it needs more booze, add more booze. It's not EFFing rocket science, even IF NASA scientists DO love my nog, deciphering the nog CODE is NOT EFFing rocket science... have I lost you yet? Good, all the more EFFing nog for MOI.
  4. Garnish with nutmeg.

1 comment:

psychotropic transgressor said...

lmao... how about just regular bourbon? something along the lines of woodford reserve?

rum (and raisins, alas) gives me the shits.

i would be all down for this nog... that's cuz i'm lazy. i think the hub would prolly have a coronary if i didn't make it from scratch.

he's a righteous pain like that.