Turdmania at the Eatateria
We are what we eat. We eat. We shit. Our produce grow from shit-fertilized soil. We become shit. Festive as that may be, enter the the "Eatateria," to discover an ever-increasing assortment of recipes for lovely meals, which we will soon shit out. I eat, and I shit; therefore, "I am."
Friday, May 03, 2013
Yet Another Attempt at a Healthy Brownie
The Nuts & Bolts:
1C Coconut Flour
¼ cups Quinoa Flour
½ tsp baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons black onyx type cocoa powder
1 Trader Joes sugar free dark chocolate bar
2 T. Coconut oil
1 teaspoon instant espresso powder
1 C. Splenda
½ cup Splenda brown sugar blend
1 ¼ C. Egg substitute
½ C. Low fat Greek yogurt
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
Optional: Shred coconut for the top
1. Preheat the oven to 350F. Spritz PAM oil spray on the sides and bottom of a 9×13-inch baking pan. Line the pan with parchment paper.
2. Whisk the flour, salt, and cocoa powder together.
3. Put the chocolate, coconut oil and coffee powder in a large bowl and set it over a double boiler or bain Marie, stirring occasionally, until the chocolate and butter are completely melted and smooth. Turn off the heat, but keep the bowl over the water and add the sugars. Whisk until completely combined, then remove the bowl from the pan. Set aside until room temp.
4. Add egg substitute & yogurt to the chocolate mixture and whisk until combined. Mix in the the vanilla, making sure not to over beat.
5. Fold in the flour mixture into the chocolate mixture. Keep folding until flour is is well blended but not overly so.
6. Pour the batter into the prepared pan and bake in the center of the oven for 30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the brownies comes out with a few crumbs sticking to it. Cool completely, lift out of pan using parchment.
7. Keep in airtight container in fridge or freezer.
Wednesday, May 01, 2013
I will say that the picture makes me think of that Robert Burns poem, A Red, Red Rose*:
Preheat oven 350
The Nuts & the Bolts (Ingredients):
2 lbs chicken parts (I used thigh/leg portions, skin on, though I was considering spatchcocking an entire bird, which for us is overkill, as we're a dark meat household)
4 Beets, scrubbed clean and sliced thick (I used both, deep red and golden beets)
1 Big handful cippolini onions, sliced in half, horizontally (Alternate: red pearl onions)
1 Pint strawberries, dehulled, halved
Handful of pecans (or walnuts)
2-3 T Garlic Shallot paste (JFGI if you don't know how to make this)
1 T. Honey
1 T. Pomagranate molasses
1 T. Balsamic vinegar
1 T. Olive oil
1/4-1/2 tsp Red pepper flake (I used Turkish Aleppo)
Big fat pinch of both, salt and pepper
Note: Ideally, marinate the chicken in the marinade overnight; however, this was done a la minute and still turned out quite good.
In a baking dish deep enough to accommodate everything, spritz pan with oil spray, then put a layer of beets and onions. Place chicken pieces in a single layer on top of beets. Scatter strawberries and pecans on top of chicken. Bake for an hour (or a little more) until the beet slices are fork tender.
(C) 2013 SF "Maven"
*For the uninitiated, here is the poem in question:
A Red, Red Rose
O my Luve's like a red, red rose
That's newly sprung in June;
O my Luve's like the melodie
That's sweetly play'd in tune.
As fair art thou, my bonnie lass,
So deep in luve am I:
And I will luve thee still, my dear,
Till a' the seas gang dry:
Till a' the seas gang dry, my dear,
And the rocks melt wi' the sun:
I will luve thee still, my dear,
While the sands o' life shall run.
And fare thee well, my only Luve
And fare thee well, a while!
And I will come again, my Luve,
Tho' it were ten thousand mile.
Monday, April 29, 2013
No recipe to share herein; however, this picture is my spin on American soul food meets South Indian food. I call it Kanga Nadu Waffle Surprise. I used store bought (already ground, fermented) uttapam batter, and waffleized it. And I made a batch of my Kanga Nadu style chicken (which I think I did manage to share the recipe/formula a while back). The picture is nothing short of glorious.
Later on that week, I did another permutation, using leftover marinated chicken. I batter dipped it and attempted a Kanga Nadu Fried Chicken 65 po' boy. Well, sadly, the batter was too delicate, and I think it even detracted from the overall deliciousness of the chicken. I don't think I'll attempt that again, tho, if I do the waffle surprise, I might fry up some pieces of okra or gobi (fresh, not frozen, it just turns to effing mush when you thaw out and fry gobi).
Second picture I'll share is a bit old at this point. I decided late in the day on Easter, that I wanted "ricotta pie." Though I never cared for the ricotta rice pie my grandfather used to make (and everyone would rave about it. Blah.) Anyway, I merged the frangipane that I love with the guts of the ricotta pie, minus the rice. I put some chocolate chips in it, which managed to sink to the top of the frangipane bottom, thus forming a third, chocolatey layer, in the entire cake/thing. The ricotta filling was flavored with orange zest and vanilla, attempting to imitate Fiori di Sicilia. It was nice, but came nowhere's near what that flavoring normally is like. Much more perfumey, IMHO. Anyway, here's the frangipane ricotta "pie," which I dusted lightly with cinnamon right before baking.
Of course, what I love most of all is syncretism, taking two, oftentimes mutually exclusive concepts, and hybridizing them into something truly unique and wonderful. The second thing I love is the myriad of permutations these foodsperiments can take on. Next up will be a frangipane bottomed Japanese souffle cheesecake-Italian ricotta pie hybrid, studded with blueberries on top. But that's a foodsperiment for later date, when I know I'll have the time and wherewithall to share the excess/spoils with friends, as I cannot humanly consume everything I cook in a reasonable amount of time, and well, my freezer space is still at a premium.
So the short term expectation is that I'll do a Coconut Lemon Bar hybridization, making an enormous coconut macaraoon, I guess this could be considered a daquoise when used in this manner, in a cake pan, partially bake it. Then finish baking it with a lemony layer on top. I'm debating the merits of adding a meringue layer on top too, to add height, interest, and of course more protein. Hard to think of it how I do: a big coconutty breakfast bar, vs a sweet dessert. I do mostly sugar free baking, and I think if I use egg substitute for the lemon filling, it would be full of protein. Above and beyond everything else, I have no doubt it will be delicious.
If you want insights into what inspires my daydreams about the permutations of my foodsperiments, follow me on Pinterest. I pin some truly delicious looking things.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
My version contained, among other things: minced sun dried tomato, celery, red onion, and kalamata olive tapenade. Oh, also? I'm going to sub in cottage cheese for the ricotta to up the protein content and reduce calories.
Next week's version (if there is one) might be salmon related or a variant of a bacon tuna melt. Stay tuned.
Friday, April 05, 2013
This came about as a workable alternative to serving mashed potatoes to my husband, who has taken the habit of reducing his carb intake later in the day.
1 head fresh cauliflower (stem and leaves removed; and pressure cooked in the Nesco for 3 minutes, manually releasing the pressure)
1 can Garbanzos, drained and rinsed
3 inches fresh ginger (don't bother peeling it, just wash the skin real good)
1/2 Cup (or more, depending) Almond Milk
1 tsp ground turmeric
pinch of salt and pepper
1 green chili minced
1 tsp jeera
1 tsp nigella
1 tsp oil or ghee
2 T. Garlic-shallot paste
Optional: If you like asafatoeida, add a few pinches to the sizzling tadka.
1/4 C minced red onion
fistful cilantro leaves or minced up stems from nearly 1 bunch
Optional: 1 T. plain yogurt
Grind all the first ingredients up to the salt and pepper. Then in a large skillet start toasting the tadka until the jeera gets golden and aromatic, add in the garlic-shallot paste and cook until golden. Stir in the channa-gobi puree. Cook down stirring regularly to keep it from burning (I cooked it on medium-high heat). Keep stirring. Bubbling. 5 minutes? 7 tops? Add yogurt. Stir and cook 1 additional minute. Taste. Adjust salt and pepper. Add in cilantro and red onion. Give one stir. Put lid on and take off the heat.
You're good to go. This was served w/broiled lamb chops, though there's so much left over, I can see it being smeared on chappatis w/some diced tandoori chicken on it, as a masala roll up type sandwich. Or just eaten with chappatis as a simple meal.
Servings Rendered: Makes roughly 2 pints of mash.
3/4 C. Almond meal
1/2 C Oat flour or malted barley flour
4-5 T. Splenda
1 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup ricotta cheese
2 large eggs, separated
1/2 cup plain yogurt
1 tsp Vanilla
2 teaspoons grated orange zest
Pam oil spray
1. Separate eggs. Whip whites until peaks form. Set aside.
2. In a large bowl, whisk together almond meal, flour, Splenda, baking powder, and salt.
3. In a medium bowl, whisk together ricotta cheese, egg yolks, yogurt, and orange zest. Gradually mix in the dry ingredients.
4. Gently fold egg whites into the batter. Batter should be nice and fluffy and happy looking.
5. Heat a griddle or a nonstick skillet over medium heat. Spray with cooking spray. Drop about 1/3 cup of batter onto the hot griddle or skillet. Cook the pancakes until browned on the underside and beginning to set, about 2 minutes. Flip and cook the pancakes on the other side, about two minutes longer. Continue making pancakes until batter is gone. Serve warm with blueberry sauce.
1 1/2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1/4 teaspoons xanthan gum powder or cornstarch
2 cups fresh or frozen blueberries
4 packets of Splenda
2 tablespoons water
1. In a medium saucepan, combine the blueberries, splenda, lemon juice and water. Bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce to a simmer and add xanthan gum powder. Keep stirring until the sauce thickens a bit. Cover to keep warm and set aside.
Copyright 2013 SF Maven
Yet another foodsperiment involving bananas + sponge - frangipane.
This overs up a spongey moist cakey product akin to something our local cupcake emporium calls "hummingbird cake." Though mine is healthier, and I ate a piece, warm, without icing. Though to be honest, I'd eat this with a shmear of peanut butter to keep it simple.
This recipe is less involved than the frangipane sponge hybrid, and I found no fuss involved with the whites. I did not chill the bowls. I did not let the eggs come to room temp. I just cracked, separated, and whipped. Good result. If I wanted to make them more "muffin-y," I could have added chia or flax seed. But this recipe will render out a spongey cake, a soft product, which could be dressed up as a cake or dressed down as a muffin. Also, inclusion of chocolate chips could go nicely with this.
2 large eggs, separated
1/3 C splenda
1/3 C Almond (or hazelnut) meal
1/3 C Quinoa flakes (or quick cook oats, or malted barley flour)
2 T. Malted milk powder (I used Ovaltine)
1/2 tsp Baking powder
1 pinch salt
1 Very ripe banana, mashed
1 T. Macadamia nut oil (or almond oil, or grapeseed oil, or a neutral flavored oil)
1 tsp. Vanilla
handful chopped walnuts
In one mixing bowl (with the egg YOLKS), put all dry ingredients + oil, vanilla, and banana. Set aside. Do not mix.
In remaining mixing bowl, whip whites until fluffy and form peaks. Don't over whip. Set aside.
Mix the bowl w/the banana etc. Mix well. Fold whites into the banana mixture. Add walnuts towards the last few folds. Pour into a baking dish or casserole which was sprayed with oil spray liberally. (Make sure ahead of time this dish will fit in your Nesco.). Cover with foil and pinch down (not to seal, but to secure it. the foil is just to keep the water off the cake).
Place in Nesco on the trivet with about 2 cups water in the bottom. Close lid and set to seal. Pressure cook on high pressure for 18 minutes. Let depressurize on its own.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Anyhoo, what is being daydreamed about right now is a frangipane-sponge cake hybrid. I've got ripe bananas at home, hence the inclusion herein.
This recipe VERY EASILY lends itself to being made gluten free and/or Kosher for Passover. I say sponge "cake," but given the nature of the ingredients, this could very well be a very spongey muffin, quick bread recipe or whatever you want to call it. If you want to gussy it up with a frosting, call it cake. If you want to tinker with it and see if it's got enough structural integrity in the sponge itself to see if you can do it up jelly roll style, knock yourself out.
I just wish I were home to play with this. The cook time is the only thing I am not certain of, and if anyone out there decides to play along at home, please let me know what your experience has been w/the cook time, whether in a traditional pressure cooker, or in an electric Nesco.
Maven's Banana Sponge (For the Nesco)
Step 1: Separate 3 room temperature eggs.
Step 2: Put steel bowl in freezer.
Step 3: Prep cake pan (which should fit in your Nesco w/sufficient space to allow steam to circulate around the pan in the cooker).
Mise #1 (Frangipane):
The three yolks from Step 1.
2 tsp. Vanilla
1 T. Macadamia nut oil (or almond oil, or neutral flavored oil, or if you want to go in a different direction entirely w/the flavor profile, try coconut oil)
1 Very ripe banana, mashed
Step 4: Mix wet ingredients very well, then combine the dry together, and gradually add this to the wet ingredients, incorporating it well:
3/4 C. Almond (or hazelnut) meal
2 T. Malted barley flour (or regular AP or oat flour, or ladoo besan/chick pea flour, or potato starch)
1/3 C. Splenda (or sweetener of your choice)
1/4 tsp Salt
Set bowl aside.
Mise #2 (Meringue for the Sponge):
3 Whites from Step 1
½ tsp Cream of Tartar
1/3 C Splenda (or sweetener of your choosing)
Step 5: Start whipping whites in steel bowl from the freezer, as it starts to froth up, sprinkle in the cream of tartar. Continue whipping until it doubles in bulk and starts to hold peaks. Gradually add in Splenda and keep whipping until nice firm (not too stiff though) peaks form.
Step 6: *Glop* (yes, it's a technical term. If in doubt, listen to the whites fall from the bowl into the bowl of the frangipane batter. There should be a tell tale GLOP) the whipped whites on top of the banana frangipane batter. Then GENTLY fold whites into batter. Fold approximately 20-25 times. Counting carefully, and not abusing the whites.
Pour into prepared cake pan, smoothing out evenly.
Step 7: Cover with Saran wrap or aluminum foil, and put on trivet in cooker with 1-2 cups of water in the vessel. Cook on high pressure for 15 minutes (setting valve to SEAL). Once done cooking, let it sit, and let it de-pressurize on its own.
It's up to you how you proceed w/a frosting.
It's up to you about add ins such as chopped walnuts or chocolate chips.
I envision, at a minimum, of eating a slice of this with a shmear of peanut butter on top.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Preheat oven 350
Grease baking dish w/a spritz of Pam
Note, this dish could very easily be Kosher For Passover and/or Gluten Free and/or Dairy Free with a few tweaks. Also worth noting, this recipe was originally done as a "reduced sugar" dessert; however, with the caramel sauce, there isn't a real good substitute for the effects of real sugar in caramel.
3/4 C. Almond meal
1/3 C. Splenda (or granulated sugar)
1/4 C. Grapeseed (or other neutral) oil
1 tsp. Almond extract
1/2 tsp Butter extract
1 T. AP flour (or potato starch or other Gluten Free flour)
2 Bananas, peeled, sliced in half end to end, then sliced in half at the midpoint, quartering them.
2 T. Amaretto or rum
Prep the bananas and put in a large container, coating all surfaces w/the amaretto or rum. Set aside.
In a large bowl, with a hand mixer, blend together all the other ingredients.
Pour into prepped baking dish, and make a fancy spiral or pinwheel w/the banana slices. Bake at 350 for approx 20 minutes, center rack.
While the frangipane is baking, make the caramel:
2/3 C. Sugar (I used turbinado)
2/3 C. Milk (I used Lactaid, though I'm sure Almond milk could work)
2 T. Butter (Nondairy butter substitute could work)
Pinch of salt
A few drops of vanilla extract
Blend everything together in a pot over medium heat. Stir frequently. Raise the heat to high, and it will continue to foam up. Keep taking it off the heat, back on, etc. Stir frequently. Watch this. Because eventually, it will come together as caramel eventually.
At first you'll think, "WTF, when will this start to look like caramel?" Seriously, this is the part that takes the longest to come together. But once it does hit the caramel stage, things move quickly and you can scorch this pretty quick. Luckily, I got a good batch of caramel first time out. I've never made caramel before. Tip: You really need to babysit the caramel to ensure it won't scorch and to ensure it doesn't boil over.
Take frangipane out of oven. Let sit a few minutes in the baking dish. You can leave it in the dish as is, if you're making it for yourself, or if you are planning on taking it to a party, you might want to invert it out of the baking dish, then invert it again onto the plate you'll be taking to someone else's home. Pour the caramel all over the top. Optional sprinkle with slivered almonds if you're being fancy.
Serves about 6-8, depending on how big your slices are.
3 Large handfuls of dry garbanzo beans
Water to cover... substantial amount of water
(Soak overnight; though to be honest, I was sick yesterday, so the chickpeas sat for two days, with me changing the water yesterday.)
Set the Nesco on the browning setting. Once a few drops water is able to skittle across the heated cooker, add:
2 T. Neutral oil (I use grapeseed, though canola or peanut would work well
1 tsp Panch Puran
1 tsp Cumin seed
Once the cumin seed starts to turn tan and fragrant, add in:
1 whole red onion, minced
1 inch piece of fresh ginger, minced
1 chili, minced
1 rounded T. of garlic/ginger paste
Once the onion starts to turn translucent and nearly golden, add in:
1 T. Garam masala powder
1 tsp. Turmeric powder
1/4 tsp Bay leaf powder (or one whole bay leaf)
1/4 to 1/2 tsp of Amchur/Amchoor (dried mango powder) Or substitute 1 T. lemon juice
2 tomatoes diced
Stir, cook for about 3 minutes. Then toss in the soaked, drained garbanzos, and about 1 cup of water.
Add a pinch of salt and a big fat pinch of ground black pepper.
Turn cooker off browning setting. Give a good stir. Put the lid on the cooker, and set it to seal. Pressure cook on high for about 6 minutes. Let depressure-ize on its own.
When you open the cooker, if things look more like soup than a thick chili-type stew, set the cooker on the browning setting and keep an eye on it. Stir frequently, letting the cooking fluids reduce until at proper texture.
If you want to hasten the thickening, add about 1 T. ladoo besan/chick pea flour to it, giving it a good stir. Check taste. Adjust salt, pepper, and lemon juice (or amchur) to your preference.
Once it's to the viscosity/thickness you desire, turn off cooker, and add to it 1/2 of a red onion minced, and a handful of chopped cilantro.
I served mine with a north Indian styled paratha, which I seasoned w/kalonji.
Makes approx. 2 generous, 3 not-so-generous sized servings.