So, About Those Pierogies...

A long-ago friend on a knitting forum gave me her recipe for pierogies in 2008. I've never said I was the speediest person on Planet Earth, and well, pierogies can be labor intensive. But I found that if you already have a bunch of mashed potatoes, this recipe will do rather nicely with the excess potatoes.

I have Trader Joes frozen mashed potatoes in the freezer at all times, so they came into play, and I didn't put cheese in the filling, but instead just added about 1-2 tsp of Vadouvan seasoning mix to make the filling interesting enough for the Maharjah.

Ingredients (verbatim, as provided by my friend):

2 cups flour, plus extra for rolling and stuff
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 large egg
1/2 cup sour cream (secret to better dough) need extra to eat them with..NOMNOMNOM
1/4 cup butter (soft and cubed), plus some for cooking
onions and butter for cooking them 
and i use potato and cheese for inside

My Substitutions:
1/2 Cup plain yogurt (as it was what I had on hand)
1/4 Cup Margarine and olive oil

My Addition:
1-2 tsp Vadouvan Seasoning

Method: (verbatim, as provided by my friend):
I mix the dry stuff first, then beat the egg separate. then add the egg to the dry. add the sour cream and butter. and you can use a mixer with a dough hook. mix it all up until it starts to loose it’s stickiness. but don’t over do it. then let it sit in the fridge for 20-30 minutes at least. It will last up to 2-3 days if you want to make it ahead of time.
then you gotta roll it out thin--maybe an 1/8 of an inch, or else it’ll be too much dough to your pierogi. use a glass or cookie cutter to cut a bunch of circles. just put a little of the filling in there, and make a half circle…use a fork to pinch the edges.
boil them for a couple minutes. then sautee those pictures in butter with onions that you already carmelized. :-)
oh right the insides. cook taters like you’re gonna make mashed potatoes. i liked to use the red ones..and leave the skins. i like to use about half an onion to about 4 or 5 big potatoes. dice and sautee the onion. then mash it all up together…potatoes, onion, cheddar cheese (sometimes i use manchego) , add some salt and pepper to taste, and sometimes some garlic powder.

All in all, I think I got maybe 18 pierogies out of that batch of dough. I divided the batch in half, and placed 1/2 the batch on a semolina lined plate and popped it in the freezer, and once they were frozen, I put them in a zip lock bag for later. 

However, what is pictured above is what was boiled and then pan fried the same day. Fresh or frozen they were wonderful. And speaking of frozen, when I took the frozen pierogies out a few weeks later, I popped them in my electric pressure cooker with about 2 quarts of salted water, and cooked them for two minutes on low pressure, then drained them and pan fried them. They were JUST as wonderful as they were when I ate them fresh!

The dough was not tough, and I received the greatest compliment from my husband on  this, insisting the next time we have a dinner party that I make these, as they are so different, and the couple we are planning on having over to share dinner with are Indian, and these are not something I'd typically make for them. He's even insisting I do up my pork chops too.  Such high praise!  Thank you very much, LindsayDuck! :)

Now for my next batch, I'm seriously giving thought to substituting 1/2 cup sourdough starter for the sour cream. It has the tang, and probably the same properties that make the dough great, and would have the added nutritional benefits of sourdough. Something for me to think about for next time, and there will be a next time! Perhaps I'll invest in a dumpling/pot sticker press, to speed along the sealing part of the dumpling making process.

Bone Broth: My Version

Reading up on the benefits of bone broth, and decided, that despite my failure to get a good "gel" in the stock I made for my ramen a few weeks back, I wanted to try again to achieve a good demi-glace "gel" for bone broth.

LOOK AT THAT IMPRESSIVE, GELLING ACTION!!!! 

Yes! That is my soup mug (at my desk in my office), which is on its side, to demonstrate the structural integrity of the gel!

Into my DRY Nesco, I added 3 lbs of "chicken hocks" (yes, pretty much what you think it is, all those knuckles at the bottom of chicken legs, essentially the ankle of the birds. I struck gold at the Korean market, where I was ISO a package of necks and backs (or even FEET), and in the absence of everything else, I found the hocks and knew I found a winner.

I had the Nesco on the brown setting, and I stirred once in a while and got most of the pieces browned and started for the bone broth.

I then filled the cooker 4/5 full (had to double check the manual for capacity) with water and added about 1-2 T vinegar.

Initially I set the cooker on high pressure for 18 minutes. I let it depressurize and upon looking I was unsure if 18 minutes was enough time to get the collagen to release from the joints. So I gave it a good stir, put the lid back on and set it for another 5 minutes at high pressure.

Again, I was unsure if this was adequate. I fished out all the bones, and took the cartilagey pieces off the bones, put the cartilage back in the Nesco, and with it, I put all the aromatics I was going to use for this batch. As I've been Jonesing for tom kha gai or tom yum, I decided to add lemongrass, makrut lime leaf, scallion pieces, garlic scape, ginger, white pepper, and set the Nesco for another 6 minutes, high pressure. After cooking I let it depressureize on its own.

After, I fished out all the solids, and ran the stock thru a cheesecloth, as to ensure no bone chips end up in final product.

While the broth was still scalding, I added a few fistfuls of enoki mushroom, cilantro, scallion piece, diced up bell pepper, and a few glugs of nam pla to salt/season and add some funk.

Last night it was served up with a few Korean vegetable mandoo, and I actually got compliments from the husband on the soup.

I made this specifically so I could take it to work each day in my feed bag, and get the therapeutic benefits of the collagen. Hoping it will be helpful in dealing with my joint pain, and also enjoy the side benefit of additional protein my diet.

(No Pics) My Formula For Strawberry BBQ Sauce

This recipe is for an electric pressure cooker; however, after all the sauteeing and pureeing, can be cooked in a slow cooker/crock pot for 4-5 hours.

Ingredients:
1 lb strawberries, hulled, quartered
1.5 onions minced
3 garlic scapes, minced (sub: 6 cloves garlic)
1 T. Sushi ginger (the shredded type; sub: 1 inch fresh, grated)
1 T. Pomegranate molasses
1 heaping tsp Schug (sub: sriracha or tabasco)
1/4 C. Rice wine vinegar (sub: apple cider vinegar or sherry vinegar)
1 T. Brown sugar
2 tsp cumin powder
1 T. Jerk seasoning
1 tsp black pepper ground
1 tsp chipotle or paprika
1 lb Smoked pork product of your choosing. (I used a 1 lb cross section slice of the ham part of hind leg; fresh ham, not cured or salted or smoked--and I then smoked it with oak chips), rough dice.
1 T. oil
Salt and pepper to taste

Sautee onion and scapes in oil until onions are translucent. Add strawberries. Cook 2-3 minutes, then use immersion blender to puree. Pretty much dump everything else in (except for pork), blend away.  Toss in pork. Give a good stir to make sure nothing is sticking on bottom.

Put lid on, set to SEAL, and pressure cook on high for 12 minutes, let cooker depressurize on its own. 

Serve up with white rice, noodles, or mashed potatoes.

PokPok BokBok Ped Yang

It was decided this was the week for some red Thai curry (ped yang). And instead of getting duck (my preference), I ended up getting chicken. I really wanted to do it justice (the chicken, not the curry), and happened to find this recipe for Fish Sauce Wings, and had an a-HA! moment. I'd do up an entire spatchcocked chicken (and additional wings) a la PokPok, with the intent to add it to the red curry the next night.

It takes 2 nights to set this up, but what all that time will provide you with a bucket of deliciousness, so IMHO, it's worth the bit of effort. 

My approach to the chicken is a bit different than the recipe, as the recipe calls for marinating in (what will turn into) the glaze, then deep frying, then reglazing the chicken. I first made an aromatic brothy brine, which I cooled and soaked the chicken and parts overnight. The brine recipe, I shall keep to myself. This isn't long division or science. Seriously, you can figure this out. And if not, you can figure out a suitable brine, given the Thai flavor profile.

The next night, I prepped the marinade/glaze, let it marinate for about an hour in that, then baked it off, turning the chicken and parts once, so every surface got nice and caramelized. I held this in the fridge overnight, to be incorporated into a quickie ped yang I planned on MacGuyvering in my Nesco pressure cooker. 

FTR: I used what the Asian market had packaged as a "Cornish Hen," but in reality it was a small chicken (2 lbs? thereabouts?), and I did up a tray of chicken wing portions (roughly 1-2 lbs).  Additional Reading, re: BOKBOK!

MY Fish Sauce Marinade:

1-2 T. Cock brand fish sauce (nam pla)
2 T. Tamari
1 T. Trader Joes brand pepper jelly
1 T. Honey
2 T. garlic-shallot paste
Super special ingredient redacted! :) HAH! Always leave 'em wanting more! YOU FIGURE OUT THE MYSTERY INGREDIENT! HAH!
Juice of 1/2 lemon
About 2" worth of finely minced fresh cilantro stems (I mince directly off a bunch, YMMV)
2 Scallions, finely minced.

Yes, I am THAT LAZY. Too lazy to fry the garlic like in the linked recipe. Plain and simple. And really, I prefer the intensity of garlic this way vs fried. 

Anyway, I put the spatchcocked chicken and wings in a single layer on a foil lined cookie sheet in a 350 preheated oven for about 40 minutes, and then bumped it up to the broil setting for the last bit of cooking (once everything started getting to my preferred level of "broiled-ness," I flipped everything (with tongs) so the backsides could get all nice and shellacky/broiled. The broiling I *EYEBALLED* do not set it to broil and walk away. Well, unless your desired end product is fully carbonized chicken carcasses, in which case, HAVE AT IT, slacker!

This is what MY PokPok BokBok looked like right out of the oven. And holy shit! The house smelled so effing delicious! 

*REMINDER! THIS RECIPE WAS DESIGNED & INTENDED TO BE USED WITH COOKED CHICKEN--NOT RAW!*

Since the chicken was already cooked, that cut the cook time considerably. And to be honest, I could have gone about 1-2 minutes LESS, and in doing so, my pumpkin would have been the perfect texture. So my recipe will reflect THAT cook time, not the cook time I actually used.

Get all your ingredients available and prepped and ready to go, because once the curry paste hits the pan, things move FAST. Dinner in less than 15-20 (thereabouts!) minutes kinda fast.

Ped Yang Ingredients (in the order they appear in the pressure cooker, set to the browning setting):

• 1 T. Coconut oil
• 1 small can Mae Ploy red curry paste (I used about 2/3 of the can, but next time will use an entire can for a more intensely flavored curry--this recipe at 2/3 a can provides a delightful enough curry, though!)

Cook the paste a bit until a bit more oil comes out of it, then add:

• 12 oz can Lite Coconut Milk (I used Roland brand)
• 1/2 Can's volume of water (this rendered out a thinner curry)

Bring to boil, and ensure no lumps remain of the curry paste.

Here's where the fun begins. You figure out which friggin' veggies you like and want to use for this curry. Some folks put potato in it (WTF?, srsly... WTF?). I like Asian pumpkin, aka Kabocha.  Scrub the skin really well, pat dry and yes! The skin is edible. Once the liquid has come to a boil for a minute or two. Turn off browning setting.

Now for the veggie combination I added to the bubblin' ped yang, and this is in the order I added everything in evenly distributed layers:

• 1/2 Nice sized kabocha, seeded and cut into roughly 1/2" cubes  (FOR ME)
  Ideal substitution for kabocha: Butternut squash or acorn squash, or maybe a Blue Hubbard Squash
• 1 Medium-to-Large onion, cubed
• 1 Yellow bell pepper, seeded and cubed

At this point, the PokPok BokBok made its appearance. I started layering the bokbok and wings in an even layer, then continued with the last two layers of veggies:

• 1 Small can (drained), BRAISED bamboo shoots (FOR HUBBY)
• 2 Fistfuls nice sized Shitake mushrooms, stems off, caps cut in half

Optional (though, I opted WITHOUT): 5 Kefir lime leaves, cut in half (I buy mine fresh, then dry them--I find the flavor stays true--unlike cilantro which just is pitiful when it's dried).

Minor detour/discourse on veggie selection: 
You don't want something that mushes up in this (though to be honest, it could thicken the gravy. So unless that's your desired consistency/end result, go for it. If you like baby corn, put baby corn! Straw mushroom instead of shitake? Go ahead. I don't give a fuck. Carrots? Really? Are we having this conversation? What's there to talk about? I've seen recipes where folks use tomato. I do not prefer tomato in my curry, so I don't add it. See what I did there? I just YMMV'd my recipe. For the love of Pete, do not add celery to this. Blargh! And if you want broccoli, go for it, but don't add it to the curry, but steam it and serve it along side it, otherwise your batch of curry will end up with a farty-broccoli top note to it. And well, unless that's your desired flavor profile, I don't recommend cooking it together. 

Now for the important detail: Put the lid on the Nesco, set the valve to SEAL, and set it for HIGH PRESSURE for five minutes. I gave it about a half a minute, then did the manual release (I usually cover the valve with a dishtowel, to blunt the spray of the steam). 

I was really surprised at how fast this was to put together, and really? It took longer to cook my rice. So if/when I make this again, I'll start my rice FIRST, then start the set up for the curry.

Minor discourse on rice:
I served this with a 50/50 mix of jasmine rice and barley (cooked together--I only had a bit of Jasmine rice leftover, and the barley adds nutrition and a wee bit of a different texture to the rice, but equally nice and neutral.Though, if all you have at home is white basmati, that's fine, though it's got a different aroma, pleasant, but different, from the Jasmine. Suitable enough of a substitute though. Brown basmati is just too rough, and takes too damned long to cook, IMHO. I have a 5 lb bucket of it at home, and I might end up feeding it to the birds. Hate it.

GARNISH:  I garnished with a flurry of  Thai basil chiffonade and some minced scallions. If you prefer cilantro vs basil, have at it. I don't care. But this was how I prepared MY curry.

My Nesco is 6 quarts, and I guesstimate this recipe made roughly 2.5-3 quarts of curry. YMMV.

End note: Picture of curry may or may not be provided today. Depends on how lazy I am, and how nicely I can stage a bowl of it.

Gobi Channa Masala Mash

I don't make any designs on this recipe being an "authentic such-and-such" from the "this-and-that" region of India.

This came about as a workable alternative to serving mashed potatoes to my husband, who has taken the habit of reducing his carb intake later in the day.

Ingredients:
1 head fresh cauliflower (stem and leaves removed; and pressure cooked in the Nesco for 3 minutes, manually releasing the pressure)


1 can Garbanzos, drained and rinsed
3 inches fresh ginger (don't bother peeling it, just wash the skin real good)
1/2 Cup (or more, depending) Almond Milk
1 tsp ground turmeric
pinch of salt and pepper 

Masala Tadka:
1 green chili minced
1 tsp jeera
1 tsp nigella
1 tsp oil or ghee
2 T. Garlic-shallot paste
Optional: If you like asafatoeida, add a few pinches to the sizzling tadka.

Garnish:
1/4 C minced red onion
fistful cilantro leaves or minced up stems from nearly 1 bunch
Optional: 1 T. plain yogurt

Method:

Grind all the first ingredients up to the salt and pepper. Then in a large skillet start toasting the tadka until the jeera gets golden and aromatic, add in the garlic-shallot paste and cook until golden. Stir in the channa-gobi puree. Cook down stirring regularly to keep it from burning (I cooked it on medium-high heat). Keep stirring. Bubbling. 5 minutes? 7 tops? Add yogurt. Stir and cook 1 additional minute. Taste. Adjust salt and pepper. Add in cilantro and red onion. Give one stir. Put lid on and take off the heat. 

You're good to go. This was served w/broiled lamb chops, though there's so much left over, I can see it being smeared on chappatis w/some diced tandoori chicken on it, as a masala roll up type sandwich. Or just eaten with chappatis as a simple meal. 

Servings Rendered: Makes roughly 2 pints of mash.

Vis a Vis: Yet Another Permutation a la Banana Sponge

Yet another foodsperiment for the Nesco.
Yet another foodsperiment involving bananas + sponge - frangipane.

This overs up a spongey moist cakey product akin to something our local cupcake emporium calls "hummingbird cake." Though mine is healthier, and I ate a piece, warm, without icing. Though to be honest, I'd eat this with a shmear of peanut butter to keep it simple. 

This recipe is less involved than the frangipane sponge hybrid, and I found no fuss involved with the whites. I did not chill the bowls. I did not let the eggs come to room temp. I just cracked, separated, and whipped. Good result. If I wanted to make them more "muffin-y," I could have added chia or flax seed. But this recipe will render out a spongey cake, a soft product, which could be dressed up as a cake or dressed down as a muffin. Also, inclusion of chocolate chips could go nicely with this.

Ingredients:

2 large eggs, separated
1/3 C splenda
1/3 C Almond (or hazelnut) meal
1/3 C Quinoa flakes (or quick cook oats, or malted barley flour)
2 T. Malted milk powder (I used Ovaltine)
1/2 tsp Baking powder 
1 pinch salt
1 Very ripe banana, mashed
1 T. Macadamia nut oil (or almond oil, or grapeseed oil, or a neutral flavored oil)
1 tsp. Vanilla
handful chopped walnuts

Method:

In one mixing bowl (with the egg YOLKS), put all dry ingredients + oil, vanilla, and banana. Set aside. Do not mix.

In remaining mixing bowl, whip whites until fluffy and form peaks. Don't over whip. Set aside.

Mix the bowl w/the banana etc. Mix well. Fold whites into the banana mixture. Add walnuts towards the last few folds. Pour into a baking dish or casserole which was sprayed with oil spray liberally. (Make sure ahead of time this dish will fit in your Nesco.). Cover with foil and pinch down (not to seal, but to secure it. the foil is just to keep the water off the cake).

Place in Nesco on the trivet with about 2 cups water in the bottom. Close lid and set to seal. Pressure cook on high pressure for 18 minutes. Let depressurize on its own. 

Copyright 2013
SF, "Maven"

Banana Frangipane-Sponge Cake For the Nesco

Most folks day dream about other things. If I'm not day dreaming about my crochet projects, then I'm day dreaming about cooking something I haven't managed to make (yet). Invariably the thing I want to cook is a permutation of something else, or a mash up of several ideas, this process I refer to as "MacGuyvering." 

Anyhoo, what is being daydreamed about right now is a frangipane-sponge cake hybrid. I've got ripe bananas at home, hence the inclusion herein. 

This recipe VERY EASILY lends itself to being made gluten free and/or Kosher for Passover. I say sponge "cake," but given the nature of the ingredients, this could very well be a very spongey muffin, quick bread recipe or whatever you want to call it. If you want to gussy it up with a frosting, call it cake. If you want to tinker with it and see if it's got enough structural integrity in the sponge itself to see if you can do it up jelly roll style, knock yourself out. 

I just wish I were home to play with this. The cook time is the only thing I am not certain of, and if anyone out there decides to play along at home, please let me know what your experience has been w/the cook time, whether in a traditional pressure cooker, or in an electric Nesco.

Maven's Banana Sponge (For the Nesco)

Step 1: Separate 3 room temperature eggs.
Step 2: Put steel bowl in freezer.
Step 3: Prep cake pan (which should fit in your Nesco w/sufficient space to allow steam to circulate around the pan in the cooker).

Mise #1 (Frangipane):

The three yolks from Step 1.
2 tsp. Vanilla
1 T. Macadamia nut oil (or almond oil, or neutral flavored oil, or if you want to go in a different direction entirely w/the flavor profile, try coconut oil)
1 Very ripe banana, mashed

Step 4:  Mix wet ingredients very well, then combine the dry together, and gradually add this to the wet ingredients, incorporating it well:

3/4 C. Almond (or hazelnut) meal
2 T. Malted barley flour (or regular AP or oat flour, or ladoo besan/chick pea flour, or potato starch)
1/3 C. Splenda (or sweetener of your choice)
1/4 tsp Salt

Set bowl aside.

Mise #2 (Meringue for the Sponge):

3 Whites from Step 1
½ tsp Cream of Tartar
1/3 C Splenda (or sweetener of your choosing)

Step 5:  Start whipping whites in steel bowl from the freezer, as it starts to froth up, sprinkle in the cream of tartar. Continue whipping until it doubles in bulk and starts to hold peaks. Gradually add in Splenda and keep whipping until nice firm (not too stiff though) peaks form.

Frangipane-Meets-Sponge:

Step 6: *Glop* (yes, it's a technical term. If in doubt, listen to the whites fall from the bowl into the bowl of the frangipane batter. There should be a tell tale GLOP)  the whipped whites on top of the banana frangipane batter. Then GENTLY fold whites into batter. Fold approximately 20-25 times. Counting carefully, and not abusing the whites.

Pour into prepared cake pan, smoothing out evenly.

Step 7:  Cover with Saran wrap or  aluminum foil, and put on trivet in cooker with 1-2 cups of water in the vessel.  Cook on high pressure for 15 minutes (setting valve to SEAL). Once done cooking, let it sit, and let it de-pressurize on its own.

It's up to you how you proceed w/a frosting.
It's up to you about add ins such as chopped walnuts or chocolate chips.

I envision, at a minimum, of eating a slice of this with a shmear of peanut butter on top.

Easy Channa Masala (cooked in a Nesco brand Pressure Cooker)

Ingredients in the order and method they are used:

3 Large handfuls of dry garbanzo beans 
Water to cover... substantial amount of water
(Soak overnight; though to be honest, I was sick yesterday, so the chickpeas sat for two days, with me changing the water yesterday.)

Set the Nesco on the browning setting. Once a few drops water is able to skittle across the heated cooker, add:

2 T. Neutral oil (I use grapeseed, though canola or peanut would work well
1 tsp Panch Puran
1 tsp Cumin seed

Once the cumin seed starts to turn tan and fragrant, add in:

1 whole red onion, minced
1 inch piece of fresh ginger, minced
1 chili, minced
1 rounded T. of garlic/ginger paste

Once the onion starts to turn translucent and nearly golden, add in:

1 T. Garam masala powder
1 tsp. Turmeric powder
1/4 tsp Bay leaf powder (or one whole bay leaf)
1/4 to 1/2 tsp of Amchur/Amchoor (dried mango powder) Or substitute 1 T. lemon juice
2 tomatoes diced

Stir, cook for about 3 minutes. Then toss in the soaked, drained garbanzos, and about 1 cup of water.

Add a pinch of salt and a big fat pinch of ground black pepper.

Turn cooker off browning setting. Give a good stir. Put the lid on the cooker, and set it to seal. Pressure cook on high for about 6 minutes. Let depressure-ize on its own.

When you open the cooker, if things look more like soup than a thick chili-type stew, set the cooker on the browning setting and keep an eye on it. Stir frequently, letting the cooking fluids reduce until at proper texture.

If you want to hasten the thickening, add about 1 T. ladoo besan/chick pea flour to it, giving it a good stir. Check taste. Adjust salt, pepper, and lemon juice (or amchur) to your preference.

Once it's to the viscosity/thickness you desire, turn off cooker, and add to it 1/2 of a red onion minced, and a handful of chopped cilantro.

I served mine with a north Indian styled paratha, which I seasoned w/kalonji.

Makes approx. 2 generous, 3 not-so-generous sized servings.

Obscenely Good, Obscenely Easy Beef Rib (Pressure Cooker)

Note: The pressure cooker I have is an electric Nesco brand. It's awesome. Some of the instructions you might have to fiddle with if you're using a regular PC on the stove.

Ingredients:

2-2.5 lb beef ribs, separated
1 pouch dry onion soup mix (I used store brand, nothing fancy)
6 dry, pitted prunes
2 cups Cabernet (or any dry red wine will do)

1.  In a zip lock bag, marinate the ribs in the wine and soup mix. I let mine sit for about an hour.

2. In a pressure cooker, dump everything in. Seal it and cook it on high pressure for 18 minutes. Leave lid on and let de-pressurize on its own.

3. Take lid off, and take out ribs. Turn on browning setting, so the liquid will come back up to a boil and start reducing. Mash the prunes until they are totally eviscerated. 

4. Add black pepper to taste, and your thickener of choice (I use about 1/8th tsp of xanthan gum powder I add directly to the boiling liquid and stir until dissolved).

Can be enjoyed immediately; however, the ribs improve when sitting in a "confit" of its own gravy overnight in the fridge.

I would assume this would work awesome for pot roast too; however, the cooking time would vary.

Maven's Oxtail Paprikash

2 lb oxtail cut into pieces
6 garlic cloves, sliced thin
2 small or 1 large onion, diced (or a dozen pearl onions, halved)
2 T olive oil
1 tsp Chile powder or1 T smoked paprika (HIGHLY RECOMMEND: Spanish or Hungarian)
1 cup of broth (I'm using chicken because it's what I have on hand)
1 Cup red wine
1 large can tomato puree or if you have a partially full jar of spaghetti sauce on hand, use that
1 Whole bay leaf
Salt & pepper to taste

Optional: 1 small sweet bell pepper, diced.
Optional: If you have a few handfuls of fresh mushrooms, halve or quarter them and add them to the pot.
Optional: If you have sour cream, add it to the gravy after it's finished cooking or use to garnish as you're plating up.

Protip: This recipe can then "morph" into chili w/the addition of cumin and coriander powder, minced jalapeno, and (*GASP!* THE HORRORS!!!) kidney beans. Can be augmented with some browned ground beef. Serve the chili up w/fresh diced onion, jalapeno/hatch and cilantro.

In a large skillet, sautee the onion first, about 2-3 minutes. Then add in the garlic. Cook 2 minutes or until golden and aromatic. NOT BROWNED. Put this into an awaiting pressure cooker which has been on a burner with very low heat. Turn the heat up 1 notch or two, and add the stock, red wine and tomato puree/sauce. Bring to a gentle boil, meanwhile in your big skillet, add 1/2 the batch of oxtail. Brown or get a good sear on all sides. Add to the pressure cooker. Let everything continue to be at a low boil/simmer. Add the bay leaf and paprika and a few pinches of salt. Stir well. Immediately before putting lid on pressure cooker, add the diced bell pepper. Put lid on pressure cooker, and lower the heat to 2 (or a low flame for simmering). Put whistle weight on top. And pressure cook for roughly 2-3 whistles Once you've heard the 2nd whistle, turn the heat off, but keep the pot on the burner (if you have an electric burner or a glass top range; otherwise if you're cooking with gas, wait until the 3rd whistle before turning the heat off completely).

Let the steam release from the valve naturally. Don't rush it by releasing it early with a wooden spoon.

Give a good stir, you might want to thicken (if you're into that kind of thing). Otherwise it's perfect to be served with rice or noodles or spaetzel.

Maven's R-Rated Buttah Chicken (TM) Patent Pending, Copywrong 2011

Hey. I'm not reinventing the wheel here. There are plenty of variations out there, utilizing marinated chicken (either bone in, or boneless), with the chicken marinating (several hours to overnight) in yogurt with some spice mixture. I'm lazy. I also work outside the home. I am lazy. I don't cook more than 1-2X a week. So I try to save time if I can. I save time by using two different pre-blended spice mixtures that anyone who cooks Indian food regularly should have on hand: 1. Tandoori spice; and 2. Garam Masala.

In the variations of Butter Chicken that I have eaten, they have involved either: 1. Leftover tandoori (grilled) chicken; or 2. Chicken cooked from its raw state in the curry.

Yes. Hard to break the news to you. But butter chicken is curry. Butter chicken is what I view as "Indian food with training wheels on." Folks who claim they "don't like curry," just haven't had butter chicken. Furthermore, they haven't had MY butter chicken. *Ahem.* "Buttah Chicken."

In future batches, I might end up doing a light 20 minute smoke (in my Cameron's smoke box, using perhaps, I don't know! Alder chips? Hickory might be too smokey) on the marinated chicken to render up that slight smokey aspect you'd enjoy eating this at an Indian restaurant, where they no doubt use leftover tandoori chicken.

This recipe can be doubled, tripled, whatever. I don't recommend halving it. No good ever comes from halving recipes, imho.

Okay. Enough commentary. (Or not.) You're not reading this for the commentary (or ARE you?). The prologue. The tease. The pre-prandial foreplay. You want the money shot. Show me the Mahkani. And I hate hate hate writing recipes (almost as much as I hate hate hate writing crochet patterns). However, much like crochet or knit patterns, this recipe? YMMV. Delicious? YES. But still. Humans are prone to err. YMMV.

PS: Uh. There is no way on this fucking planet that this recipe is low cal. Get over it.

The Nuts:

Marinate a minimum of 1 hour (however, my boneless, skinless chicken thighs have been marinating for 2 nights--see my original statement, "I am fucking lazy.")

• 1 ½ lb chicken parts (I prefer boneless, skinless chicken thighs, they're tastier)
  
• 1 c plain yogurt (I've been known to use less than 1 cup of yogurt, but YMMV)
  
• 2 Tbspns prepared Tandoori seasoning (tho to be honest? I used Market Spice I got from Pike's Market, as it's pretty much the same components. Also worth noting, Penzeys has an exceptional tandoori spice.)
• 1 Tbspn lemon juice
  
  Get a big gallon size zip lock bag, and mix the spice, lemon juice and yogurt together thoroughly, then add in chicken. Coat everything well. Zip it and forget it. Preferrably forgetting it for a full overnight.
  

The Bolts:

• 1+ tbsp butter (maybe 2 Tbspn. Hey, see the proviso: it's not low fat or low cal. Get over it).
  
• 1 onion, diced
• 2 cloves garlic, minced (I'm going to grind up a whole mess of fresh garlic and ginger and wing it, but most recipes use 2 cloves of garlic minimum)
  
• 3 in piece of ginger, grated
• Optional: 6 Fresh curry leaves
• Asafatoeida (Protip: compounded; powder form); aka Hing (see what I did there? I'm so lazy, I can't be bothered saying, asa-fa-toe-i-don'tknowwhatthefuckthisis? I love the simplicity of HING.)
  
  [Pausing recipe writing for a sugar free Jello pudding break... ahh... chocolatey... ommmm nommm nommmm Don't judge me or my process. Hey, you're the one who wants this recipe! How the fuck did that happen? How the fuck is my pudding cup now empty? ::seethes::]
  
  
• (Minimum 16 oz) 1 can of crushed tomatoes or tomato puree
  
• Using empty tomato puree can, use 1 can's worth of water
• 1 tsp salt
• 3 whole cloves
• Optional: 5 whole cardamom pods, seeds crushed, pod husks discarded
  
• ½ tsp coriander powder (see what I did there? I'm lazy. Use powdered spices, especially if you replace them frequently. Subtext: if you use your spices up regularly, you replace them regularly, ipso facto, you have fresh-ish ground spices on hand)
  
• 1 Tablespoon Dried fenugreek leaves (aka Methi, aka Methi kasoori) Note: ¼ tsp fenugreek seeds if you don't want to be lazy, but then you'd have to dry toast them, then grind these fuckers up, and really? why go to that bother. Note: Can also use fresh methi leaves if available, just mince them fine and use I don't know... a minimum of 3 Tbspns fresh, maybe more? See? I hate writing recipes. It interferes with the creative process. I just normally throw shit in a pot, stir it and VOILA! Magically, food appears. But sadly not everyone enjoys this magic. :( Where was I? Oh yes... I think I remember where I was going with this recipe...)
  
• 1/4 tsp cinnamon
• 1/2 Coriander powder
  
• 1 tsp paprika
• 1 tsp Garam Masala
  
• 1 bay leaf
• 1 Tbspn. Cashew butter
• 1 Tbspn. Jaggery (or honey)
  
• ½ c cream (I'm going to use non-dairy creamer)
  
• cilantro to garnish

How to Screw Those Nuts and Bolts Together:

• Heat butter in a skillet and add the curry leaves. Cook until the leaves turn fragrant. You'll know what this is the moment you smell it. Add the onions and cook 2 minutes stirring regularly.
  
• Sprinkle some Hing. A light dusting. Maybe 1/8th of a teaspoon?
  
• Add garlic and ginger for a couple of minutes
• Add chicken and fry for about 5 minutes
• Add spices (YES. All that pre-fabbed, pre-ground shit, the dried methi, plus those THREE, count them, THREE whole cloves and that solitary bay leaf). Toss to coat chicken.
  
• Add crushed tomatoes and ½ c of water
• Add the heaping 1 Tbspn. cashew butter and jaggery (or honey). Stir well.
  
• Bring to a boil, then transfer everything to a pressure cooker of adequate size to accommodate this bucket of butter chicken. The pressure cooker should be preheated to same temp as the skillet contents. Bring pressure cooker contents to a boil, then reduce heat (for my glass top electric range, I put it about at a 3-4, for simmering). Put the gasket in the pressure cooker lid, put the lid on the cooker, lock it in place, and put your whistle/weight on top.
• Pressure cook for TWO whistles. Not one. Not three. TWO FUCKING WHISTLES. Turn off heat and remove pressure cooker from the burner onto a cool burner. Let it sit and do its thang. Do not force the pressure cooker to open. It continues to cook even while the stove is not on.
• Protip: A pressure cooker is pretty much a pressurized bomb. Treat with respect, and it will promise you a bountiful, never ending stream of delicious meals.
  
• Before serving, add ½ c of cream and garnish with cilantro leaves. Serve with plain basmati rice, or hey, perhaps you can make up a batch of homemade naan, while you are waiting for the fucking whistle to whistle.
• Protip: You should think about what you want to serve this shit with the night before as you are prepping the chicken to go into the marinade, so the dough, should you choose to serve with naans, will be ready to go when you're ready to commence crafting this bucket of Buttah Chicken.
• Note: It's even more fabulous served the next day.

Going to serve up w/a mix of white and brown basmati steamed with toasted cumin, salt, butter, and saffron.