Red Velvet Cake and Icing, for Maven

Shit you will need:

• 1/2 cup shortening
• 1 1/2 cups sugar
• 2 eggs
• 2 tablespoons cocoa
• 1 1/2 oz red food coloring
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 1/2 cups flour
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1 cup buttermilk
• 1 teaspoon soda
• 1 tablespoons vinegar

PREPARATION:

Cream shortening; beat in sugar gradually. (I usually sing, "Beat it!")
Add eggs, one at a time; beat well after each addition.
Make paste of cocoa and food coloring; add to creamed mixture. (This can stain if you get it on your fingers...)
Add salt, flour and vanilla alternately with buttermilk, beating well after each addition.
Sprinkle soda over vinegar; pour vinegar over batter. (The soda and vinegar combo bubbles a bit -- it's cool!)
Stir until thoroughly mixed.
Bake in 3 8-inch pans or 2 9-inch pans for 30 minutes at 350°.
(Tou can get creatinve, and use one square pan, and one circle pan, and cut the circle in half to make a heart-shaped cake, if you are Betty Fuckin' Crocker.)

ICING:

You can use this, or you can use a rich cream cheese frosting -- your call, and it's good either way!

1 cup milk
3 tablespoons flour
1 cup confectioner's sugar
1/2 pound (two sticks) REAL butter
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon butter flavoring


Cook milk and flour until thick.  Then cool it.
Then whip sugar, butter, vanilla and flavoring.
Add to cold flour mixture;  cream until smooth.
Spread over layers and outside of cake.