You will need:
1lb smoked haddock (Haddock is traditional. Smoked anything will substitute.)
6 hard-boiled eggs, chopped fairly fine
1-2 cups Basmati (preferably) or long-grain white rice
2-4 cups decent chicken stock,
1 bay leaf
Liberal amounts of unsalted butter
3 medium shallots, or a medium onion, chopped fairly fine
As much garlic as you can handle, chopped very fine or squished through a garlic press
At least 3 tsp of prepared English mustard, preferably Colman's (1 1/2 tsp of dry mustard).
Enough finely-chopped parsley or cilantro to add interest and colour.
Salt, at the final stage
Fresh-ground pepper, plenty.
Curry powder (alternatively mustard and pepper)
A rice cooker is not essential, but makes the whole thing brainless.
One cup of rice will yield a dish that is dense with egg and haddock; Two cups will give you a dish with a more Asian proportion of rice.
Cook the rice in one and a half the amount of chicken stock with the bay leaf.
When it is done and keeping warm, toss out the bay leaf, fluff the rice with chopsticks and place the raw smoked haddock slab on top.
Close the lid and let the haddock steam on warm for 15 minutes.
Cover eggs with cold water, bring them to boil. Then turn the heat off, cover, and wait exactly 11 minutes. Drain and douse with lots of cold water to quickly get them cold. Shell them; The shells should come off cleanly. Peel them under a running tap to make the job easier and get rid of every last tiny shard. Finally, chop the eggs.
Remove the haddock, and flake with forks to get rid of every last trace of bone. Place the haddock back in the rice cooker.
Sauté the shallots until light brown, in excess butter. Add the garlic for one minute more, making sure to not brown it. Place it all in with the rice.
Add the chopped-up eggs, mustard, parsley, pepper, and throw in enough cream to make everything just slightly creamy. Mix it all up, gently and thoroughly (chopsticks are perfect for this). Add salt.
Serve, now or later - it keeps well. Leftovers may be served in kedgeree omelettes with a dribble of soy sauce.