Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Birthday Kulfi Surprise, Part One

As my husband is lactose intolerant, he's pretty limited regarding ice creams or desserts, etc. In a way my first marriage prepared me for this. First husband was Jewish, and though we did not keep kosher, I am quite adept at hacking desserts and such, and make them pareve. So it's with this in mind, I've been daydreaming about what to make to celebrate his birthday. Something sweet, something special. But what?

Ice cream is a biggie for him, and he used to eat a gelatto nearly every single day until the abdominal pain became so pronounced he had to give it up. Indians have a long tradition of ice cream. It's a rare treat. Something special. Same thing goes for Coca Cola, too. You have guests, you bring out ice cream cones or Coca Cola, and it made get togethers special.

Well, I'm not hacking Coca Cola today. I'm hacking Indian ice cream known as Kulfi.  I've been thinking a lot about avocados, and while there are some good kulfi recipes out there using avocados, I wasn't sure if I wanted to make a huge batch, as I wasn't sure if I was going to make it just to make it, or if I was going to make it to use it in a spumoni or an ice cream cake.

So at midnight last night, when most normal human beings are tucked in bed, I was up mashing avocados and boiling milk, and beating the hell out of it all. Partially freezing and whipping it, chopping candied ginger and pistachios.

Here is my recipe for a lactose-free (not non-dairy--though you can sub out the Lactaid milk with Almond milk--I would have done so but the husband claims he's got an almond allergy, which I'm not convinced is real (yes, seriously, I think it's something else he's been ingesting with the almonds, and not the almonds themselves).

Step 1 Ingredients:
1 C Milk, Lactaid, or Almond Milk
1 T. Rice flour
1/2 tsp fresh ground Cardamom powder
1/2 C Sugar or Splenda

Step 1 Instructions:
 In a nonstick pot, dissolve rice flour in milk and bring to a boil. Stir frequently and keep an eye on it so it doesn't boil away or scorch. Add in sweetener and cardamom and turn off heat.

Step 2 Ingredients:
2 ripe avocados, mashed with a squirt of lemon juice
1 tsp almond extract
1 T. Amaretto (this will change the freezing point for the kulfi)
1 T. Confectioners Sugar
1 pinch salt

Step 2 Instructions:
Mash avocados, add in step 2 ingredients and mix with an electric mixer until well blended. Add somewhat cooled cooked milk mixture and blend well. Put mixing bowl in freezer for about 40 minutes.

Step 3 Ingredients:
1/4 chopped, roasted, unsalted pistachios
2 T. Minced up candied ginger

Step 3 Instructions:
Take bowl out of freezer, mix with electric mixer again, then fold in pistachios and candied ginger, then pour into mold or container for the freezer. Add garnish and freeze overnight

2 crushed Bischoff biscuits or a few ginger snaps crushed

I'm not sure how lazy I will be. So I'm not sure if this is IT, or if I'll make some coconut kulfi, then do a layered "spumoni" type ice cream cake for the husband to surprise him. I have the components for coconut kulfi at home, so it's not out of the question. I just hope he likes it. Which, knowing him, it's truly a 50/50 shot if he'll like this or not. Oftentimes he's impossible to please. And times like this, knowing how much time, effort, consideration, conceptualizing and then engineering something like this, a bit of my soul gets chipped away each time I make something and he'll either reply, "It's kinda good" (which allegedly to him is high praise) or he outright finds something so revolting he can't eat it. While I have been accused in the past (by someone with pedestrian tastes, who I suspect eats a diet of sawdust and wallpaper paste) that I am an asshole about food or a food snob, whereas I counter I demand my food, at a minimum TASTE GOOD, my husband considers himself a foodie or a gourmand, but in reality, out of the both of us, he's an asshole about food.

Let's see how this all pans out.
Let's see if this ends up in the trash heap or not come his birthday.

If it does in fact end up in the trash heap, a photo will be snapped for posterity, and I'll never attempt kulfi for him again.

End note: Good-to-meh. Good in theory. Not so good in texture. Won't make this again for him. Too much effort for too little praise.

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